sometimes

sometimes i fall into despair and anger, railing against all the suffering, knowing in my core it isn't necessary, completely not understanding the point of existence and why. totally convinced there is no positive outcome to make it fair or worthwhile, then crying.

then it rains and i walk outside in the cleansed air and experience the immense diversity that is reality and wonder. this blows my mind as well.

then i'm left to acknowledge my tiny perspective. no, the beauty does not make the suffering irrelevant. i wouldn't even say it makes it bearable. seems like an equal perspective/plane co-existing, both simultaneous.

and i step into a deep sense of mystery and witness and simplicity and breathing.