here's a toast that came to me for my birthday celebration last night (@ blackstar.coop). the chorus is said loudly, in rhythm, by everyone, then an individual shouts the in between phrases, also in rhythm.
(CHORUS:) ENLIGHTENMENT & LIBERATION!!!
(individual shouts): by the path you choose!
ENLIGHTENMENT & LIBERATION!!!
that there may be peace!
ENLIGHTENMENT & LIBERATION!!!
full awareness and freedom!
ENLIGHTENMENT & LIBERATION!!!
for ALL without exception!
ENLIGHTENMENT & LIBERATION!!!
(then everyone cheers!)
this was the toast we said this evening--great fun!
another 9: 3 leos, 3 RNs, 3 publishers (folks who work in publishing). my birthdays often have interesting 9 phenomena. it's also the 9th anniversary of the WV wreck (that could have killed me). so 3 9s. sweet!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Appamada
sweet zen center in austin (appamada.org) named for Buddha's last words, interpretted as "wakeful caring." LOVE sitting with them!
also love their 4 principles:
Caught in the self-centered dream, only suffering;
holding to self-centered thoughts, exactly the dream;
each moment, life as it is, the only teacher;
being just this moment, compassion’s way.
-.-
so clean, so empty, so restful. a wonderful place to dwell, full of potential.
labeling myself zen gnostic now :)
also love their 4 principles:
Caught in the self-centered dream, only suffering;
holding to self-centered thoughts, exactly the dream;
each moment, life as it is, the only teacher;
being just this moment, compassion’s way.
-.-
so clean, so empty, so restful. a wonderful place to dwell, full of potential.
labeling myself zen gnostic now :)
Sunday, October 3, 2010
this morning's prayer
worked the overnight shift last night, so this is the prayer that happened as i drifted off to sleep bout 8a--
Holy One,
i am a child, innocent and ignorant. please gently open my awareness, dissolve my ignorance so that i may serve as your tool, to alleviate suffering and point to your true light.
help me to follow the true light (not to get lost like a bug zooming round a parking lot lamp post). for the enlightenment and liberation of all, without exception--
in the name of Logos, Christos & Sophia, Amen.
Holy One,
i am a child, innocent and ignorant. please gently open my awareness, dissolve my ignorance so that i may serve as your tool, to alleviate suffering and point to your true light.
help me to follow the true light (not to get lost like a bug zooming round a parking lot lamp post). for the enlightenment and liberation of all, without exception--
in the name of Logos, Christos & Sophia, Amen.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
october as a window
i was blessed with studying with a wise sikh woman when i lived in phoenix, sangeet khalsa. loved her eastern/new jersey-ish accent. actually can't remember where she was from, so it may've been a new york accent, my ear is not that sophisticated.
she lead women's yoga (plus other topics) classes that were wonderful, enlightening and nourishing. wait! maybe she has a website! i bet she may still be teaching them. . .yes, womanheart was the name of the class. her site is healingsource.com and here's a quote i MUST post--
"From the beginning of time women have gathered together to build and hold sacred energy, to pray for their loved ones, to exchange wisdom and to celebrate all aspects of life. They sat around camp fires, met at all sorts of social events, helped each other with the birthing process and supported each other as the role of modern women expanded in business and public service. When women gather, the heart of this world grows brighter."
such a wonderful teacher!
part of what i learned from her was a bit of ayurvedic numerology, which considers every october a window on the upcoming year. it's just a peak, maybe holding some clues, maybe a bit of grace to help us prepare for what's ahead.
i've always looked at it, also, as a time to attract what i want to manifest in the upcoming year. for instance, when i was single, i made sure to go on some dates. didn't matter if they were hugely successful because during the following year, not only did i date, but there was usually a good relationship that came out of it. there's also putting extra attention into diet and exercise, making sure i get plenty of rest and maybe have a tiny vacation experience, get a massage, those kinds of things.
it's an interesting way to experience time, to weave reality. time & reality aren't linear anyway, so october is an opportunity to entertain all kinds of possibilities.
blessings! :)
she lead women's yoga (plus other topics) classes that were wonderful, enlightening and nourishing. wait! maybe she has a website! i bet she may still be teaching them. . .yes, womanheart was the name of the class. her site is healingsource.com and here's a quote i MUST post--
"From the beginning of time women have gathered together to build and hold sacred energy, to pray for their loved ones, to exchange wisdom and to celebrate all aspects of life. They sat around camp fires, met at all sorts of social events, helped each other with the birthing process and supported each other as the role of modern women expanded in business and public service. When women gather, the heart of this world grows brighter."
such a wonderful teacher!
part of what i learned from her was a bit of ayurvedic numerology, which considers every october a window on the upcoming year. it's just a peak, maybe holding some clues, maybe a bit of grace to help us prepare for what's ahead.
i've always looked at it, also, as a time to attract what i want to manifest in the upcoming year. for instance, when i was single, i made sure to go on some dates. didn't matter if they were hugely successful because during the following year, not only did i date, but there was usually a good relationship that came out of it. there's also putting extra attention into diet and exercise, making sure i get plenty of rest and maybe have a tiny vacation experience, get a massage, those kinds of things.
it's an interesting way to experience time, to weave reality. time & reality aren't linear anyway, so october is an opportunity to entertain all kinds of possibilities.
blessings! :)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
highlights of the weekend vacation, 8/2010
(originally written as a facebook note, i hope to write more on this weekend soon.)
you could think of these as the series of updates i might've posted, if i'd been online.
or not ;)P
wonderfully cool weather with sunshine. sweet mildness and people watching while serenely waiting for a ride from the airport.
great to see my cousin, kristin, and get a taste of her mundane life--which is the most exquisite way to interact with someone, really. went grocery shopping, said hello to her boys, met her cats, swung in the porch swing, walked through gardens (then the sun was hot). . .but not necessarily in that order, lol.
sweet evening coolness with windows open. watched a sketchy movie, wonderful experience of getting every other word (due to technical difficulties, ha ha ha ha).
great to be joined by two more cousins, sisters rachel & sarah, then off to enjoy the drive through napa valley to indian springs spa. oh. my. goodness. heaven on earth! swimming in naturally warmed mineral water pool, then a salt scrub/body polish with massage--all with these amazingly wonderful smells--then quietness by the "buddha pool." "phenomenologically outstanding" doesn't touch it.
indian springs spa is so sublimely sweet (again, words fail). http://www.indianspringscalistoga.com/spa/
then delicious window seat in a lovely cafe eating homemade pasta and drinking smoky wine. yum!
oh and sunday! sunday--enjoyed some sweet solitude as drove to visit the gnostic sanctuary. http://www.gnosticsanctuary.org/ all tucked away, seeking part of finding it, beautiful colors, beautiful space, beautiful intoxicating scents. bishop rosamonde miller is amazing, with energies that my mouth is unable to describe. brought to tears just arriving, just being there and during the Eucharist. the most profound ritual i've ever experienced, hands down. then delicious conversation over a yummy lunch--SO very grateful--thank you!!!
completed the circle on the drive back. more sweet cousin visitings in cool weather. not much sleep.
they sell emergenC packets at the airport! yes, this may just be a world i can live in ;)
then sweating the minute the plane lands in austin, lol! it's freakin hot here!!! suddenly i've lost what li'l acclimation i had to this weather and miss northern california like it was my home.
i will be back :)
you could think of these as the series of updates i might've posted, if i'd been online.
or not ;)P
wonderfully cool weather with sunshine. sweet mildness and people watching while serenely waiting for a ride from the airport.
great to see my cousin, kristin, and get a taste of her mundane life--which is the most exquisite way to interact with someone, really. went grocery shopping, said hello to her boys, met her cats, swung in the porch swing, walked through gardens (then the sun was hot). . .but not necessarily in that order, lol.
sweet evening coolness with windows open. watched a sketchy movie, wonderful experience of getting every other word (due to technical difficulties, ha ha ha ha).
great to be joined by two more cousins, sisters rachel & sarah, then off to enjoy the drive through napa valley to indian springs spa. oh. my. goodness. heaven on earth! swimming in naturally warmed mineral water pool, then a salt scrub/body polish with massage--all with these amazingly wonderful smells--then quietness by the "buddha pool." "phenomenologically outstanding" doesn't touch it.
indian springs spa is so sublimely sweet (again, words fail). http://www.indianspringscalistoga.com/spa/
then delicious window seat in a lovely cafe eating homemade pasta and drinking smoky wine. yum!
oh and sunday! sunday--enjoyed some sweet solitude as drove to visit the gnostic sanctuary. http://www.gnosticsanctuary.org/ all tucked away, seeking part of finding it, beautiful colors, beautiful space, beautiful intoxicating scents. bishop rosamonde miller is amazing, with energies that my mouth is unable to describe. brought to tears just arriving, just being there and during the Eucharist. the most profound ritual i've ever experienced, hands down. then delicious conversation over a yummy lunch--SO very grateful--thank you!!!
completed the circle on the drive back. more sweet cousin visitings in cool weather. not much sleep.
they sell emergenC packets at the airport! yes, this may just be a world i can live in ;)
then sweating the minute the plane lands in austin, lol! it's freakin hot here!!! suddenly i've lost what li'l acclimation i had to this weather and miss northern california like it was my home.
i will be back :)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
sometimes
sometimes i fall into despair and anger, railing against all the suffering, knowing in my core it isn't necessary, completely not understanding the point of existence and why. totally convinced there is no positive outcome to make it fair or worthwhile, then crying.
then it rains and i walk outside in the cleansed air and experience the immense diversity that is reality and wonder. this blows my mind as well.
then i'm left to acknowledge my tiny perspective. no, the beauty does not make the suffering irrelevant. i wouldn't even say it makes it bearable. seems like an equal perspective/plane co-existing, both simultaneous.
and i step into a deep sense of mystery and witness and simplicity and breathing.
then it rains and i walk outside in the cleansed air and experience the immense diversity that is reality and wonder. this blows my mind as well.
then i'm left to acknowledge my tiny perspective. no, the beauty does not make the suffering irrelevant. i wouldn't even say it makes it bearable. seems like an equal perspective/plane co-existing, both simultaneous.
and i step into a deep sense of mystery and witness and simplicity and breathing.
Monday, August 2, 2010
confessions of a spiritual lesbian
yes, i'm bi. my partner is a wonderful, very human, man who has taught me more about Love than probably anyone, romantic or otherwise. i've had one experience with one woman that affirms that that would work for me too, but i'm probably slightly more hetero. basically i find everyone beautiful.
there's something different when only women gather. the space and energy are completely different. as sisters, there is something we share that is understood, that needs no defense or argument. women who are silent around men, relax and are more vocal when there's only women. we all relax, actually, easily sharing the spotlight and affirming what's best in/for each of us. the gatherings i've attended, in different belief systems, for different objectives, have all been nourishing in ways that are rarely met when men are present.
i find it easier to learn in these circumstances and with/from women teachers. their teachings seem more immediately relevant and applicable, also often more compassionate.
i have witnessed my spiritual brothers appear to be healed from time spent in men-only gatherings. i have seen them soften and yet also be stronger men, also better able to appreciate women, without having to control or define them. i don't know what happens in their gatherings or what they need from each other that women can't give. i'm ok with not knowing. i'm grateful to have experienced them nourishing themselves as only they can.
i have been feeling deeper into loss, allowing it to be, transforming the longing for what was to the longing of the Divine Beloved. this afternoon, She came to me in a flash--Wild Sophia! and yes--it is She who i desire! She whose presences requires fearlessness, not as a demand, but as a requisite to be fully present in All That She Is, for Lilith and all her shadow aspects are there too!
best to allow Her to destroy you, cut you into pieces! there is nothing to loose--only the illusions that get in the way of true union. leave them behind and breathe into wholeness!
words are lame, lol, and yet something must be said. SO grateful for Divine Connections!
there's something different when only women gather. the space and energy are completely different. as sisters, there is something we share that is understood, that needs no defense or argument. women who are silent around men, relax and are more vocal when there's only women. we all relax, actually, easily sharing the spotlight and affirming what's best in/for each of us. the gatherings i've attended, in different belief systems, for different objectives, have all been nourishing in ways that are rarely met when men are present.
i find it easier to learn in these circumstances and with/from women teachers. their teachings seem more immediately relevant and applicable, also often more compassionate.
i have witnessed my spiritual brothers appear to be healed from time spent in men-only gatherings. i have seen them soften and yet also be stronger men, also better able to appreciate women, without having to control or define them. i don't know what happens in their gatherings or what they need from each other that women can't give. i'm ok with not knowing. i'm grateful to have experienced them nourishing themselves as only they can.
i have been feeling deeper into loss, allowing it to be, transforming the longing for what was to the longing of the Divine Beloved. this afternoon, She came to me in a flash--Wild Sophia! and yes--it is She who i desire! She whose presences requires fearlessness, not as a demand, but as a requisite to be fully present in All That She Is, for Lilith and all her shadow aspects are there too!
best to allow Her to destroy you, cut you into pieces! there is nothing to loose--only the illusions that get in the way of true union. leave them behind and breathe into wholeness!
words are lame, lol, and yet something must be said. SO grateful for Divine Connections!
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