crazy Truth

can't sleep, might as well blog. i suppose all honeymoons must end, change being one of the few constants of the universe 'n all. still sucks.

on myspace i have this list of sayings i've made up over time that i'll have to grab another time. my computer's too old to update the browser so i can't log onto myspace at the moment. later i may add the list to the end of this blog [actually it's posted as "b4ii" (10/15/09)].

one of the sayings was/is above, which may not be original with me--most of the "sayings" are simply stating the obvious, like--change is one of the few constants in the universe.

another one has to do with how more Truth is present when opposites are allowed to co-exist without attempts to change either. this doesn't make sense, in any rational way. and before i had this experience, i would've argued up/down/back/forth against it.

but really, the only thing that prevents the peaceful co-existance of opposites is the rational, logical mind: a human creation. rationality is a great tool and can actually go a long way to serving peace, but it too, has it's limits. it's good to develop a sense of when to let go of rationality and allow for either intuition or another non-linear, non-rational mode of thinking to be in the driver's seat, so to speak.

so what am i basing all this on, some kind of altered state, either induced by an additive (ie, drug) or meditation? not at all--not in the least, actually. this "saying" is based on attending a series of board meetings. yep, i'm a nerd, i went to board meetings for fun, lol. some would say i needed to get a life, but i felt like i was in the middle of it! cause with all the dead beauracracy we're surrounded with, i LOVE alive organizations. these board meetings were at the austin waldorf school that my son attended when he was small.

these meetings started with a marvelous verse by rudolf steiner, that i'm having trouble finding at the moment, which called us to seek the spiritual life through service to benefit others. and then they would discuss business. when the inevitable, apparent conflict in choices of action would arise, they would allow space for all possibilities, without rushing for solutions, trying to change or fix anything to fit in a certain way. i found it amazing. no apparent personal attachment to any particular solution, just peaceful consideration.

my impression is that, when opposites are allowed to co-exist without pressure to change, that that's like sitting in Da'at. not sure if that's completely accurate though, i still have much kabbalah to learn.

it sure felt good, which surprised me at the time. on some level it still does--but i can't get enough of it! so i speak what feels like it must be said (or i'll explode) and keep hoping that those i speak to will learn to receive what's said without feeling threatened by it.

maybe some day.