yesterday i had an aaahh (sorta like an ah-ha, but a li'l different) insight from the mirror of brittle defensiveness around authority. i wrote bout my wish that all in authority would be free to rest in it. there are ways to hold authority comfortably, allowing dialog that informs and teaches while still being the final say. it's a way of breathing.
then yesterday the aaahh insight hit me: i can also do this when others project their negativity onto me! yeah. [breathing] i can rest in my own ultimate authority. i can give space/time to their feedback in silence, which isn't agreement, and let it be for a time, continuing to center in what i know to be true--releasing aversion to negative projections! i'm so ready to be free from that and releasing aversion to them! the only power they have over me is the power i give them. yeah, lol.
so a short bit ago i had a dream where i had left my car on one side of a lake and took a boat to the other side, not being careful to note where exactly i left it or how i would get back to it. i was going to a class. turned out that we were just sitting and reading, which i can do at home, so i got up to go, but then was having trouble getting back to my car. i was getting help from the authorities (lol), but i was still uneasy how careless i'd been.
now that i'm awake, seems like i could almost see my car from the shore i was on.
dreams are funny :)
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