One of the Wisdoms in Matthew

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your sibling's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your sibling, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your sibling's eye." Matthew 7:3-5

this verse has been a comfort to me on multiple occasions and returned to me again today as a comfort regarding a recent loss when, after setting a healthy boundary, i lost a profound relationship. this verse helps me with projections, which can be so confusing, with my moon in libra, making all relationships seem like a hall of infinite mirrors where i can't tell who's who. is this mine or yours? why are you saying it's mine when i've experienced it as yours on numerous occasions and i have no feelings for it? while i may not have any "sticky" feelings for what you're judging me about, i do have feelings about being wrongfully accused.

so then, how can one be clear?

so i always go to the place of: i dunno if i'm the one with the speck or the plank, i have no attachment to either position. i could easily be the one with the plank. but if you're unwilling to be human, to admit to even the possibility of a speck or ever having a history of a speck, then why should i let you so close to my vulnerable eyes?

that's something else i continue to appreciate about my beloved urban dance tribe: the willingness to discuss as equals our humanity, our mutual blocks to our vision, the mirror we present to each other, which enables and empowers us to clear our vision ourselves.

so that we can have eyes to see.

it's an ongoing process. i don't claim to have completely clear vision. but when i can see plainly, that you have something similar to the plank you claim i have, when i can see something of that in your eye, that you aren't willing to discuss, then let's just leave each other be. i will contemplate your claim. when you're willing to discuss the possibility that perhaps, i may see something too, then we can explore our visions together again.

meanwhile i will continue seeking healthy, mutually respectful relationships, leaving all others be and, if necessary, leaving them behind.