now there's an image!
day before yesterday, in meditation i opened to Holy Shekinah to interact/receive/follow her direction. a beautiful, bare chested woman with radiant dark, curly/wavy hair appeared, wearing the minimalist green shift of a skirt; very luscious. she appeared loving and yet indifferent to my attraction. as she approached, she seemed intent on something in my head and began tinkering in the upper back of my brain, not unlike a mechanic in a car's engine. i sat with this for a long while. at some point i sensed a metal plate, a subtle energy form, laying across the top 1/4, inside my skull. perhaps the mechanic imagery inspired me to invent something like a hood.
at any rate, that image had been clear in my mind, off and on through the next day. i checked in with my tzaddik about it and he confirmed that she's, most likely, Lillith. today when i became aware of an itch i get in my consciousness, a bad mental habit, or even addiction, of needing to either get into a negative rut about someone else or about myself (when aimed at myself, it includes the dread of getting caught for a mistake). at that point, the vision shifted to Lillith with a welder's helmet, lighting up a blow torch to do some majoy metal cutting! yep, these ancient mental habits definitely feel like they need major work, like intense heat and cutting, to heal. i've also heard the sounds of metal saws cutting through metal.
gettin pretty noisey in there. i appreciate the humor these images bring. doesn't seem like She minds at all; i see her continuing her loving smile, while jumping back into the work in my skull. i often get that i need to lighten up. and i'm very grateful for this help and imagery.
Adonai Yeshua Messiah, have mercy on us.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
stuck in traffic or levels of the soul
nov 1st, all saints day, my son's 18th birthday: he had his party in the afternoon so i went to the Pistis Sophia study that night.
Magdalene Circle meets in round rock which is not convenient. at all. minimally 45 minutes north of my house. i've learned to take mo-pac on the way there cause even on saturday afternoons, traffic on i35 can be a pain. but Usually, coming home, i35 is no trouble. which is good cause it's usually late, i'm usually tired (coming down from altered states) and it's a straight shot anyway. it's the shortest route. (altered states, as in, from meditation and study/discourse.)
on this particular sunday, i practically get to my exit but then traffic stops. i'm less than 100 yards from my exit (stassney) and it's a parking lot. emergency vehicles are racing by and i look ahead to see flames jumping up above the cars. the smoke and flames aren't slowing down so several of us turn off our cars, even the truckers turn their trucks off, and get out to stretch our legs. it was nice out, cept for the caustic cloud, and it was sorta nice to walk around a freeway where probably nobody ever just, you know, walks.
so we're walkin around. i'm really wantin some spray paint. guys are racing and rappin. there's a highway support that's within reach, that i can literally reach out and touch, and that's what i'm wishin i had spray paint for. i'd spray a equalateral cross within a circle with "WWMMD?" inside both arms, overlapping/sharing the first "M." but then it's pro'ly good i don't have spray paint cause i'd only have 100s of witnesses to report me.
where i was stopped on the freeway, there were 3 levels. below us 290/71 ran east/west (sorta). i was on i35 which runs relatively north/south and then above us, what the highway support, uhm, supported was the flyover from 290/71 to i35 northbound.
so then i get that i'm on the Neshama level here, lol. below us is Nefesh and above is Yechida and this highway support, that i can reach out and touch, is Ruach and Hayya.
not that i totally, truly *get* this. i'm still learning. but what i've learned is that two aspects of the 5 levels of the soul (Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Hayya, Yechida) are connectors. Ruach connects Nefesh with Neshama and Hayya connects Neshama with the infinite aspect of our soul, Yechida, that part of us that doesn't incarnate, that always resides with God.
it was an interesting metaphor that popped up, whether accurate or not, it made being stuck in traffic more interesting.
Magdalene Circle meets in round rock which is not convenient. at all. minimally 45 minutes north of my house. i've learned to take mo-pac on the way there cause even on saturday afternoons, traffic on i35 can be a pain. but Usually, coming home, i35 is no trouble. which is good cause it's usually late, i'm usually tired (coming down from altered states) and it's a straight shot anyway. it's the shortest route. (altered states, as in, from meditation and study/discourse.)
on this particular sunday, i practically get to my exit but then traffic stops. i'm less than 100 yards from my exit (stassney) and it's a parking lot. emergency vehicles are racing by and i look ahead to see flames jumping up above the cars. the smoke and flames aren't slowing down so several of us turn off our cars, even the truckers turn their trucks off, and get out to stretch our legs. it was nice out, cept for the caustic cloud, and it was sorta nice to walk around a freeway where probably nobody ever just, you know, walks.
so we're walkin around. i'm really wantin some spray paint. guys are racing and rappin. there's a highway support that's within reach, that i can literally reach out and touch, and that's what i'm wishin i had spray paint for. i'd spray a equalateral cross within a circle with "WWMMD?" inside both arms, overlapping/sharing the first "M." but then it's pro'ly good i don't have spray paint cause i'd only have 100s of witnesses to report me.
where i was stopped on the freeway, there were 3 levels. below us 290/71 ran east/west (sorta). i was on i35 which runs relatively north/south and then above us, what the highway support, uhm, supported was the flyover from 290/71 to i35 northbound.
so then i get that i'm on the Neshama level here, lol. below us is Nefesh and above is Yechida and this highway support, that i can reach out and touch, is Ruach and Hayya.
not that i totally, truly *get* this. i'm still learning. but what i've learned is that two aspects of the 5 levels of the soul (Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Hayya, Yechida) are connectors. Ruach connects Nefesh with Neshama and Hayya connects Neshama with the infinite aspect of our soul, Yechida, that part of us that doesn't incarnate, that always resides with God.
it was an interesting metaphor that popped up, whether accurate or not, it made being stuck in traffic more interesting.
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