sometimes i fall into despair and anger, railing against all the suffering, knowing in my core it isn't necessary, completely not understanding the point of existence and why. totally convinced there is no positive outcome to make it fair or worthwhile, then crying.
then it rains and i walk outside in the cleansed air and experience the immense diversity that is reality and wonder. this blows my mind as well.
then i'm left to acknowledge my tiny perspective. no, the beauty does not make the suffering irrelevant. i wouldn't even say it makes it bearable. seems like an equal perspective/plane co-existing, both simultaneous.
and i step into a deep sense of mystery and witness and simplicity and breathing.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
confessions of a spiritual lesbian
yes, i'm bi. my partner is a wonderful, very human, man who has taught me more about Love than probably anyone, romantic or otherwise. i've had one experience with one woman that affirms that that would work for me too, but i'm probably slightly more hetero. basically i find everyone beautiful.
there's something different when only women gather. the space and energy are completely different. as sisters, there is something we share that is understood, that needs no defense or argument. women who are silent around men, relax and are more vocal when there's only women. we all relax, actually, easily sharing the spotlight and affirming what's best in/for each of us. the gatherings i've attended, in different belief systems, for different objectives, have all been nourishing in ways that are rarely met when men are present.
i find it easier to learn in these circumstances and with/from women teachers. their teachings seem more immediately relevant and applicable, also often more compassionate.
i have witnessed my spiritual brothers appear to be healed from time spent in men-only gatherings. i have seen them soften and yet also be stronger men, also better able to appreciate women, without having to control or define them. i don't know what happens in their gatherings or what they need from each other that women can't give. i'm ok with not knowing. i'm grateful to have experienced them nourishing themselves as only they can.
i have been feeling deeper into loss, allowing it to be, transforming the longing for what was to the longing of the Divine Beloved. this afternoon, She came to me in a flash--Wild Sophia! and yes--it is She who i desire! She whose presences requires fearlessness, not as a demand, but as a requisite to be fully present in All That She Is, for Lilith and all her shadow aspects are there too!
best to allow Her to destroy you, cut you into pieces! there is nothing to loose--only the illusions that get in the way of true union. leave them behind and breathe into wholeness!
words are lame, lol, and yet something must be said. SO grateful for Divine Connections!
there's something different when only women gather. the space and energy are completely different. as sisters, there is something we share that is understood, that needs no defense or argument. women who are silent around men, relax and are more vocal when there's only women. we all relax, actually, easily sharing the spotlight and affirming what's best in/for each of us. the gatherings i've attended, in different belief systems, for different objectives, have all been nourishing in ways that are rarely met when men are present.
i find it easier to learn in these circumstances and with/from women teachers. their teachings seem more immediately relevant and applicable, also often more compassionate.
i have witnessed my spiritual brothers appear to be healed from time spent in men-only gatherings. i have seen them soften and yet also be stronger men, also better able to appreciate women, without having to control or define them. i don't know what happens in their gatherings or what they need from each other that women can't give. i'm ok with not knowing. i'm grateful to have experienced them nourishing themselves as only they can.
i have been feeling deeper into loss, allowing it to be, transforming the longing for what was to the longing of the Divine Beloved. this afternoon, She came to me in a flash--Wild Sophia! and yes--it is She who i desire! She whose presences requires fearlessness, not as a demand, but as a requisite to be fully present in All That She Is, for Lilith and all her shadow aspects are there too!
best to allow Her to destroy you, cut you into pieces! there is nothing to loose--only the illusions that get in the way of true union. leave them behind and breathe into wholeness!
words are lame, lol, and yet something must be said. SO grateful for Divine Connections!
yeah, what he said
one of my facebook friends had a great update yesterday--
"I am so sick of the male ego and the masculine feeling of superiority, along with the male's archonic display of dominance and authority. I see it every day, day in and day out, and I absolutely abhor these male 'prima donna' types -- those males who accept adulation and privileged treatment as a right and react with petulance to the least criticism or inconvenience." ~Albert Lloyd Williams
so affirming to hear this from a man. certainly fits some recent, unfortunate experiences.
he also has a profile honoring the Divine Feminine--
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=app_2915120374#!/pages/The-Return-of-the-Divine-Feminine/294515654562
"I am so sick of the male ego and the masculine feeling of superiority, along with the male's archonic display of dominance and authority. I see it every day, day in and day out, and I absolutely abhor these male 'prima donna' types -- those males who accept adulation and privileged treatment as a right and react with petulance to the least criticism or inconvenience." ~Albert Lloyd Williams
so affirming to hear this from a man. certainly fits some recent, unfortunate experiences.
he also has a profile honoring the Divine Feminine--
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=app_2915120374#!/pages/The-Return-of-the-Divine-Feminine/294515654562
Sunday, August 1, 2010
more gifts from matthew
"that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." matthew 5:45
gaining insight today on another possible application of this understanding--that the Holy Spirit can flow powerfully through the kind/caring & unkind/uncaring also, through the compassionate and humble as well as the authoritarian and proud, through those who desire connection/mutuality and those who are only self-seeking.
just as i'm grateful that all have rain and shine, i'm also grateful that the Holy Spirit can move powerfully through all.
another one of my favorites; has been very informative & directional--
"He told them still another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.'" matthew 13:33
i once heard a great sermon based on this verse, which basically boiled down to we are here to be yeast--to connect and let God's light shine through us.
a simple focus, a great direction.
gaining insight today on another possible application of this understanding--that the Holy Spirit can flow powerfully through the kind/caring & unkind/uncaring also, through the compassionate and humble as well as the authoritarian and proud, through those who desire connection/mutuality and those who are only self-seeking.
just as i'm grateful that all have rain and shine, i'm also grateful that the Holy Spirit can move powerfully through all.
another one of my favorites; has been very informative & directional--
"He told them still another parable: 'The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.'" matthew 13:33
i once heard a great sermon based on this verse, which basically boiled down to we are here to be yeast--to connect and let God's light shine through us.
a simple focus, a great direction.
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